94 years old
Today I had lunch with a vibrant, healthy, cheerful woman. This woman still ballroom dances! She says it is what has saved her life. She wears heels and is stable, she lives by herself, she does all sorts of things, she is living! At 94, she has seen a lot, but she just tells it like it is. I am going to see her perform in her dance studio's show in December. I was so pleased to be in her company telling me stories of when she lived in Hollywood where she worked for Max Factor. I wish there were still dinner and dance (civilized dancing, like actual steps and music you can talk over) places, the way she described her dancing adventures was magical. I was absolutely blessed by this woman. I wish that I can get my act together and just start living, not worrying about how long I'm going to live.
In contrast, my grandmother, the same age, is not doing well. Her health is fine, but her attitude and mental state is not good. There is a lot going on but identify her unhappiness with her lost art of working with her hands. She lost feeling in her hands after a strike a few years ago and is unable to sew. Grandma would sew place mats, doll clothes, Christmas clothes, you name it, the woman would hand stitch and quilt! I have kept all the clothes she made for my American girl dolls because they are art. I loved sitting with my grandmother while she pushed the needle around a pattern of fabric to accent it with stiching. This is how I want to remember my grandmother, but recently, I resent her. I don't understand why she wants to be stuck in her situation. Here I am fighting for my life, wanting to live, and she wants to end hers. She can't enjoy the day she is given. I know how she feels, when I don't feel well, I can be mean, but not feeling well shouldn't be an excuse for bad behavior. I want so badly for my grandmother to do something artistic. In the past couple of months, I have learned, it is my right brain, my creative center, that is going to keep me well. If I allow my critical left brain to work too long, I become worried, fearful, depressed, just like my grandmother. It seems we are both scared to do something that could give us life in fear that we will lose our life.
In contrast, my grandmother, the same age, is not doing well. Her health is fine, but her attitude and mental state is not good. There is a lot going on but identify her unhappiness with her lost art of working with her hands. She lost feeling in her hands after a strike a few years ago and is unable to sew. Grandma would sew place mats, doll clothes, Christmas clothes, you name it, the woman would hand stitch and quilt! I have kept all the clothes she made for my American girl dolls because they are art. I loved sitting with my grandmother while she pushed the needle around a pattern of fabric to accent it with stiching. This is how I want to remember my grandmother, but recently, I resent her. I don't understand why she wants to be stuck in her situation. Here I am fighting for my life, wanting to live, and she wants to end hers. She can't enjoy the day she is given. I know how she feels, when I don't feel well, I can be mean, but not feeling well shouldn't be an excuse for bad behavior. I want so badly for my grandmother to do something artistic. In the past couple of months, I have learned, it is my right brain, my creative center, that is going to keep me well. If I allow my critical left brain to work too long, I become worried, fearful, depressed, just like my grandmother. It seems we are both scared to do something that could give us life in fear that we will lose our life.