Finally Home!
I'm back and glad to be in my own bed :) My trip did not turn out the way I expected it. Besides visiting my grandma and other family members, my mom had to visit ALL these old friends. I was the token to be shown around because she hasn't seen some of these people since we moved away 12 years ago. My idea of fun is not to sit around and catch up with old friends. Neither does being around people 24/7 fit my introverted personality. Well when you are a house guest, it is frowned upon to sit in your room for half a day...So I was worn out, I did not have any time to recharge alone or to write. This trip caused some painful reflection, depressing conversation and emotional thoughts....
1. Homeopathic doctor visit: This is the doctor that at age 6 after several years of my parents endlessly seeking answers to my constant infections and sinuses problems, looked at my finger nails, saw clubbing and said I had pulmonary dysfunction and to get tested for CF. At that time in 1992, genes for CF were being identified. At that time they thought there were 600 mutations. I digress to tell you, CF is a recessive genetic disease. You need two copies of the gene to get the disease and over time, the main gene has mutated causing CF to differ in severity. After the initial sodium chloride test, one producing negative and one positive results, DNA testing confirmed my diagnosis. AND back to the most recent visit, the doctor addressed my most current problems I have been having: no energy, I feel sick yet no increase in mucus production, clearing of my throat, slight depression, major anger issues, allergic to who knows what and scared of the CF clinic with their constant antibiotic push. Just like my parents so diligently fought doctors and kept searching for the right answer when I was 6, we seem to be at that place again. My disease seems to be changing, progressing and it is time to figure out how to cope and manage it once again.
I will have to say Dr. C is the one doctor I really can sit with and talk too. A lot of Homeopathic doctors book long doctor visits to really review patients. So he immediately thought that my adrenals were shot. He prescribed I get right back on all my vitamins and start some other adrenal support supplements. I need a blood test to verify, but after 5 days of my all my pill taking, I feel better!
What could also be changing and causing my problems are my hormones. I've never been that moody teenager or hormonally unstable coed, but the past few weeks, I thought I was started puberty all over again. I've been crying, easily angered, like when I slammed the bathroom door in my moms face and almost broke her nose. Well I am 23, she needs to stop asking how I'm feeling every 20 minutes, she doesn't need to know everything! I see an endocrinologist in November to sort these issues out.
2. Old people
Something about being around old people and old people with severe health problems for a week really makes you come to terms with death. Between my grandma at 93, an Aunt's relative with dementia, a friend with colon cancer and those with just eye and ear difficulties, getting old sucks and part of me is glad I'll never have to deal with that. I won't live to be 'old'. It's just unfair that at 23 I don't have the energy to take care of myself. I have to manage all this 'failing body' stuff now, everyday. Part of me thinks that is why CF people die young, they just can't keep up. The effort and mental strain gets to you. I was also jealous, old people can look back at a grand well spent life. I don't know if I'll get that opportunity. I want to live as long as I can, but it is going to take a lot of work to get there. Boooo
1. Homeopathic doctor visit: This is the doctor that at age 6 after several years of my parents endlessly seeking answers to my constant infections and sinuses problems, looked at my finger nails, saw clubbing and said I had pulmonary dysfunction and to get tested for CF. At that time in 1992, genes for CF were being identified. At that time they thought there were 600 mutations. I digress to tell you, CF is a recessive genetic disease. You need two copies of the gene to get the disease and over time, the main gene has mutated causing CF to differ in severity. After the initial sodium chloride test, one producing negative and one positive results, DNA testing confirmed my diagnosis. AND back to the most recent visit, the doctor addressed my most current problems I have been having: no energy, I feel sick yet no increase in mucus production, clearing of my throat, slight depression, major anger issues, allergic to who knows what and scared of the CF clinic with their constant antibiotic push. Just like my parents so diligently fought doctors and kept searching for the right answer when I was 6, we seem to be at that place again. My disease seems to be changing, progressing and it is time to figure out how to cope and manage it once again.
I will have to say Dr. C is the one doctor I really can sit with and talk too. A lot of Homeopathic doctors book long doctor visits to really review patients. So he immediately thought that my adrenals were shot. He prescribed I get right back on all my vitamins and start some other adrenal support supplements. I need a blood test to verify, but after 5 days of my all my pill taking, I feel better!
What could also be changing and causing my problems are my hormones. I've never been that moody teenager or hormonally unstable coed, but the past few weeks, I thought I was started puberty all over again. I've been crying, easily angered, like when I slammed the bathroom door in my moms face and almost broke her nose. Well I am 23, she needs to stop asking how I'm feeling every 20 minutes, she doesn't need to know everything! I see an endocrinologist in November to sort these issues out.
2. Old people
Something about being around old people and old people with severe health problems for a week really makes you come to terms with death. Between my grandma at 93, an Aunt's relative with dementia, a friend with colon cancer and those with just eye and ear difficulties, getting old sucks and part of me is glad I'll never have to deal with that. I won't live to be 'old'. It's just unfair that at 23 I don't have the energy to take care of myself. I have to manage all this 'failing body' stuff now, everyday. Part of me thinks that is why CF people die young, they just can't keep up. The effort and mental strain gets to you. I was also jealous, old people can look back at a grand well spent life. I don't know if I'll get that opportunity. I want to live as long as I can, but it is going to take a lot of work to get there. Boooo