Armor
I finally left the house for some 20 something interaction last night. I went to my young adults church group. I went between antibiotic doses so I was disconnected. Free at last. I felt strange 're-entering my life'... I was slightly scared because I'm still in FULL germaphobe mode and well not everyone knows I have CF and that I was in the hospital. I just joined this group in August. Actually, at the first meeting I told a couple of girls that I had CF, we just happened upon the subject of why I studied health in college. I gave the real reason, I was totally willing to be open with this group. I studied Health mainly because I have cystic fibrosis. It would allow me to understand my body better. It would put me on a more even playing ground with health professionals and I felt the medical field needed a patient-focused approach. Since I'm so dedicated to staying healthy, I thought I would be good at encouraging others to be healthy. This was a huge step for me. I used to never tell people I had CF. I would hate when my mom would tell people. I didn't want people to take pity on me, feel saddened that I had this disease ( trust me, classic scenario, people googled it, saw average life span was 37 yrs. and freaked out on me) I never wanted to be seen as weak or as some sickly depressed, complainer. But I learned and am still learning, people are somewhat fascinated with how I live with this disease. They see me as strong and inspiring. Anyway, I knew that I would be explaining myself last tonight and I was alright with it.
I kept my jacket on but finally took it off because I was hot when we broke down into smaller groups. A girl I kind of knew asked what the white gauze on my arm was and I casually explained the situation. She then told me, she went to college with a girl with CF and she was in and out of the hospital, so she knew all about it. Thank you God.
We discussed Ephesians 6:10-24; putting on the Armor of God. WOW, what a great reminder. Now this armor of God deals with spiritual warfare, protecting your spirit, mind and heart from evil temptation, lust, greed, lies and deceit etc. All things to make you not believe in yourself and the power of God. But last night, the armor of God meant something different to me. It did remind me that there are more serious things fighting for my life than this disease. That when I get sick, I do get upset, I start believing that I'm failing and my life is out of control. That I'm weak and won't be able to live the life that I once dreamed about. This is why I need that armor, because if I continue down that path, I won't get better, especially my mental state. I won't regain my courage to get back up and live. That armor and the knowledge that God will make me strong also gives me patience to get through 14 days of Ivs.
The Armor of God (belt of truth, helmet of salvation, the sword of the word of God...) painted a great visual image as well. That I am suiting up to combat Flu Season!! Its the worst time of the year, I avoid large crowds, touching anything in public and sick people. I have gloves, masks and hand sanitizer everywhere. I can kind of be the girl in the plastic bubble. Instead of greeting you with Hi, how are you, its, Are you sick??! Its not really fun and my social life does suffer a bit but I do need to remember that God strengths me and protects me always. I take care of the body and He takes care of the soul.
My lungs are all cleaned up now and I'm ready. I'm ready to fight whatever comes my way.
I kept my jacket on but finally took it off because I was hot when we broke down into smaller groups. A girl I kind of knew asked what the white gauze on my arm was and I casually explained the situation. She then told me, she went to college with a girl with CF and she was in and out of the hospital, so she knew all about it. Thank you God.
We discussed Ephesians 6:10-24; putting on the Armor of God. WOW, what a great reminder. Now this armor of God deals with spiritual warfare, protecting your spirit, mind and heart from evil temptation, lust, greed, lies and deceit etc. All things to make you not believe in yourself and the power of God. But last night, the armor of God meant something different to me. It did remind me that there are more serious things fighting for my life than this disease. That when I get sick, I do get upset, I start believing that I'm failing and my life is out of control. That I'm weak and won't be able to live the life that I once dreamed about. This is why I need that armor, because if I continue down that path, I won't get better, especially my mental state. I won't regain my courage to get back up and live. That armor and the knowledge that God will make me strong also gives me patience to get through 14 days of Ivs.
The Armor of God (belt of truth, helmet of salvation, the sword of the word of God...) painted a great visual image as well. That I am suiting up to combat Flu Season!! Its the worst time of the year, I avoid large crowds, touching anything in public and sick people. I have gloves, masks and hand sanitizer everywhere. I can kind of be the girl in the plastic bubble. Instead of greeting you with Hi, how are you, its, Are you sick??! Its not really fun and my social life does suffer a bit but I do need to remember that God strengths me and protects me always. I take care of the body and He takes care of the soul.
My lungs are all cleaned up now and I'm ready. I'm ready to fight whatever comes my way.