The Hospital: Bored and Pathetic

I am questioning me writing this blog. How pathetic can I get? I'm 23 years old and instead of writing about fun adventures and causing trouble, I'm discussing my health. I don't want this to be some complaining blog, but I don't like complaining to the people around me. I keep a lot about what I'm feeling about this disease inside. Strange thing is when everything was fine, I didn't think about it. I didn't think my life was different. I really didn't feel CF hindered my life. Only recently being really sick on and off, CF consumes me. Being in here makes it even worse.

I walked around the floor today and just happened to glance in other rooms. All old people with failing kidneys and livers. These people have lived their lives, maybe did things to get them in here. They are just hanging in there. Then there is the young CF population. I'm just living to do everything right so I can hope to have a life. Its not right to be in here trying to get my lungs to work. I'm too young. I'm suppose to live my life and then one day wake up, be old and have to take medicine to make you pee.

I do have good friends, they have come to visit me. They have brought entertainment, magazines, coloring books, little kid toys. Just simple stuff that is really fun that you never do as an adult. I love having my friends here and then I hate it. How pathetic is it they have to spend some of their weekend in a hospital room. I know they don't mind and they want to care for me but it doesn't make it any easier. It's got to be hard to be friends with someone like me.