Mountain Climbing
Life is made of top of the mountain moments and deep in the valley moments. Different seasons of your life. I always hear these phrases being thrown around but until recently I didn't really apply them to my life. It's been a fairly pleasant hike. Now I feel life's terrain is gaining and losing more altitude. Going from this last deep valley of sickness, I feel I've been accelerating up to the happy, healthy mountain. I'm in the transition and I'm trying to enjoy it, but I can't stop thinking when is it all going to plateau or send me right back down again.
Focusing on climbing up right now. My life is getting less complicated and stress free and I am taking advantage of it. I got back up on my feet and started the journey towards healthy living. I have new friends close by and making a conscious effort to keep up some long distance ones. I am swimming and doing yoga. I am sooooore so I know I'm getting stronger. I have the time to read books, play piano and watch netflix movies. I love being outside and the fall weather is just perfect. I enjoy food more and want to leave the house more often. I am sleeping just the right amount and wake up before my alarm! I've organized my vitamins in weekly dispensers because unscrewing over 12 bottles is not fun. I'm involved in a great Bible Study and reading some really interesting quantum physics and epigenetic books that give me another great perspective on life and reaffirm my faith. My job is not stressful and I am becoming more competent with our new software program. I'm catering my life just the way I want it because I can not deal with stressful situations. My body internally is stressing so everything that is in my power I try to do with intention and joy.
I really am trying not to be the 'forward' thinker that I always have been. I plan, plan, plan for the future and I make concessions in the present to protect the future. The first years of my 20's I have gotten worse. I now just look for doom like I know it is in the future. The other night I had a temperature of 100.7. Immediately, I went through the list of symptoms to check if this could be the beginning of another lung infection. Before I could even realize I didn't have an increase in mucus, I could walk up stairs and I was hungry, my mind focused on my life slipping away. Well my social life, as in, oh no, lets cancel all the plans for the next couple of days, I'm going to be sleeping all the time, (Curses, curses, curses I can't be sick AGAIN) I snapped out it and remembered a wise professor who said, there are only about 20 symptoms and over hundreds of things to go wrong, its your job to figure out the combination code to lead to the right diagnosis. Okay, process rationally, I just have a fever, why do I have a fever? My mom suggested I was dehydrated and I went with that and didn't look back. For the next couple of hours I downed water every hour and my fever broke.
Crisis averted. It really worried me how overwhelmingly depressed I got when I thought I was getting sick. I was a rock climber whose line had caught below and was forcing me to repel. This climb up to the top of happy, healthy mountain could take a detour through some dark channel. I'm already staring swine flu in the face. Its like the snake under the rock, ready to attack. AAAHHHHHHH, I can't get swine flu, I can' be sick, but I can't stay at home all the time, what to do, what to do? I can't let stressful thoughts of WHEN is the next sick time? I really need to stop my fears of getting sick, its ruining my scenery.
Focusing on climbing up right now. My life is getting less complicated and stress free and I am taking advantage of it. I got back up on my feet and started the journey towards healthy living. I have new friends close by and making a conscious effort to keep up some long distance ones. I am swimming and doing yoga. I am sooooore so I know I'm getting stronger. I have the time to read books, play piano and watch netflix movies. I love being outside and the fall weather is just perfect. I enjoy food more and want to leave the house more often. I am sleeping just the right amount and wake up before my alarm! I've organized my vitamins in weekly dispensers because unscrewing over 12 bottles is not fun. I'm involved in a great Bible Study and reading some really interesting quantum physics and epigenetic books that give me another great perspective on life and reaffirm my faith. My job is not stressful and I am becoming more competent with our new software program. I'm catering my life just the way I want it because I can not deal with stressful situations. My body internally is stressing so everything that is in my power I try to do with intention and joy.
I really am trying not to be the 'forward' thinker that I always have been. I plan, plan, plan for the future and I make concessions in the present to protect the future. The first years of my 20's I have gotten worse. I now just look for doom like I know it is in the future. The other night I had a temperature of 100.7. Immediately, I went through the list of symptoms to check if this could be the beginning of another lung infection. Before I could even realize I didn't have an increase in mucus, I could walk up stairs and I was hungry, my mind focused on my life slipping away. Well my social life, as in, oh no, lets cancel all the plans for the next couple of days, I'm going to be sleeping all the time, (Curses, curses, curses I can't be sick AGAIN) I snapped out it and remembered a wise professor who said, there are only about 20 symptoms and over hundreds of things to go wrong, its your job to figure out the combination code to lead to the right diagnosis. Okay, process rationally, I just have a fever, why do I have a fever? My mom suggested I was dehydrated and I went with that and didn't look back. For the next couple of hours I downed water every hour and my fever broke.
Crisis averted. It really worried me how overwhelmingly depressed I got when I thought I was getting sick. I was a rock climber whose line had caught below and was forcing me to repel. This climb up to the top of happy, healthy mountain could take a detour through some dark channel. I'm already staring swine flu in the face. Its like the snake under the rock, ready to attack. AAAHHHHHHH, I can't get swine flu, I can' be sick, but I can't stay at home all the time, what to do, what to do? I can't let stressful thoughts of WHEN is the next sick time? I really need to stop my fears of getting sick, its ruining my scenery.