5 lbs. on a Plane!
It is not often that a girl walks into a room and exclaims, I gained 5 pounds and everyone including her cheers. I did it! In one month I gained 5 pounds, if I can keep this up slash turn it into hardcore muscle, I'll be back to my old self by the end of summer. The CF clinic was very pleased with my results and my flow numbers for lung function were a little higher as well. They commented on my happy attitude and that I was smiling again. I felt really good and had lots of energy. Which my small group also commented on as we rejoiced of the good news last night. We even celebrated with frozen yogurt after bible study! Now the goal is to exercise everyday to build muscle, I think I have a better chance getting a workout buddy than an eating buddy. It is much easier to be positive about my health when I am heading towards better health. I am trying to keep my fears at bay. Today my counselor and I worked on an inner dialogue to help me face the challenge of flying on a plane. Right now I'm so ecstatic of meeting my goal my fears of getting sick are minimal but still creeping up. The main point is I have accepted this trip is a challenge but I am willing to take that challenge because I know my soul, mind and body are prepared. Since I am in good health, I can stay that way by my actions during the trip. I'm going to do it with God's hand on me, I will be healthy when I return! I'll have my mask and I'm extending my inhaled antibiotics a week to help destroy bacterial growth.
Getting sick on the plane is only my second fear, next to something going wrong. I would like to share that I become a very paranoid and suspicious person while in airports. Ever since I was a little kid, I have been a criminal profiler. At 8, I remember sitting at the gate and observing all the people. I would ALWAYS find someone that seemed out of place or uncomfortable potentially because they had a bomb. I would make up stories to why they were upset and how they didn't have families. I would yell at myself in my head, pray to God to forgive me for judging someone else and also please protect the plane. If there was for any reason I should not get on that plane please prevent me from getting on it. The stress I put myself through is ridiculous. I look at people's clothing, carry bags and where they choose to sit. I swear I am determined to catch something that I could alert the officials on. Alas, nothing has ever happened, but my fear is so real. What is real is all the plane flights I have had with no terrorists, no malfunctions and no being marooned on a creepy island. It is the same problem with my health, feeling good is real too, but until I am experiencing good health it is hard to curve my thinking any other way.
Unless I have access to a computer and a super funny story to tell my door will be closed. I will be back next week! Until then be encouraged to live life without fear. Bonn Voyage!