TEXAS!!!!!

Back from the greatest state full of BBQ, Tex-Mex and no toilet seat covers....In Houston anyway, my calfornia instincts of always reaching for the waxy bum paper where foiled and I resorted to using toilet paper. Although when matched agaist an automatic flusher, my germophoic ways were set aside, a touch one second too long and flush! We arrived late Wednesday night and immediately went to dinner at Luby's cafeteria. A place I have eaten all my life, they have updated it to get the young crowd, but its the old lady in me and desire for good southern food that brings me back. My good feelings came crashing down when I realized the meal I have eaten all my life was a gluten nightmare. Fried chicken, macaroni & cheese, fried okra and icebox chocolate pie. I took my tray and slid it along the food items...what in here is not going to be breaded?!?! Ground Angus steak, green beans and mashed potatoes. I still got the pie and didn't eat the crust. It was good, but I resolved to order a deep fryer soon.

Arriving at the senior living building where my grandma now lives was bittersweet. It is a very nice place and really just an apartment building for old people. This trip was going to be a test drive of senior living. On Thursday my patients was tired with having lunch and dinner with my elders who can not see or hear very well anymore. One lady didn't let me get a word in so I resorted to texting on my phone. I know it was rude but I don't say every 5 minutes oh I can't breathe, oh stairs those will try my lungs, like she did about her sight and hearing. My grandma still complains that the tone of my voice is too high and the hearing aids don't work for that. I gave up talking to her until I was in her face that night. She is not happy with her new residence. It was her idea in the first place, but now she does not like it. She does need some assistance, but for the most part she is able to be on her own. Sadly, watching the news and starring at the walls are her activities. She refuses to play bridge because she played with cut-throats in her early days. She isn't much for competition, but she did go to Bingo and won 3 times! She suffered a stroke which left no feeling in her left 3 middle fingers. She sewed beautifully, table clothes, doll clothes, ornaments, all my mom's singing costumes. The woman was gifted and now she is unable to do the one thing that she loves.

Grandma also believes there is a dinning room clique. They all sit together and won't let anyone sit with them, even if there is an open sit, "It's saved". These ladies are 90 and acting like they are in high school! Grandma you don't want to be friends with people like that anyway. Get there early, organize and conquer. I realized this trip my personality is very similar to grandma. She is complaining about the same things I am, its hard to make friends, the people you meet aren't that interesting, people have been here so long they don't let new people in, they don't have the same interest. This could have thrown me in the pit of despair that no matter what age I am, making friends is hard, but encouraging my grandma allowed me to tell myself what I needed to do.

On Friday we even toured a new senior living place, how civialized! What upsets me most of all about these places and my grandma's situation is at an old age you don't need to be making new decisions, you should be settled, set in your ways. That is the hardest part dealing with moving out of your home. My grandmother still hasn't hung her pictures yet. It must be hard, she was married as a freshman in college and everything she decided was with my grandpa. Now she is like a single 2o-something in her very own pad. I felt cruel walking around that place, like we were there to push my grandmother away because we couldn't take her in and what not. Grandma has refused to move to CA and we don't really have room for her. She won't move in with my uncles, but she needs to be around others. She also needs money to live well into her 90's. I don't think it really matters where you live, but the people around you matter. My grandmother kept saying I've out lived all my friends and I'm still here. I don't know what purpose there is still to serve by her being her, but I know sometimes your living not for yourself but for others.

We had lunch at the new building and this wirey, quick witted woman comes up to my grandma and introduces herself as Mary and she would love to have my grandma come live here, she loves it here and it is the best decision she has ever made. Mary continued to talk to my grandmother for 20 minutes and it was the first time I really saw my grandmother smile this trip. It goes for both of us, we need people to extend themselves to us first and we enjoy being around outgoing people. It is sad though you have all these people in the dining room who can't hear or see, trying the best they can but who knows what really is said and heard. People probably mistake my grandma for being rude or stuck up because she knows she can't hear so she doesn't engage. Shy people are so misunderstood!

The wedding on Saturday was charming . The Pastor did an excellent job discussing marriage and giving great modern day examples. Oh I want to be married!! The flowers, the dresses and young people in love. Sadly, no suitable men for me. Here I was thinking , Texas, tall, Christian, good looking men...most of them had dates or were already married. Oh well it is still a party. Several months ago I prepared myself for not eating wedding cake by feeding msyelf notions of, "they always have weird fillings, now they use fondant, you can't be in pain when you want to impress some man on the dance floor." Luckily, someone was looking out for me and the groomscake had chocolate covered strawberries. Dessert success achieved and lots of wine helped. The buffet was favorable too, they had martini mashed potatoes, a very fun idea. I ate salad and lots of fruit. It was an evening wedding so I ate before anyway. The music was provided by an amazing 10 piece Louisiana band that played motown, 60's and 70's music. Only the best music there is and to dance too. The 3 woman where like th Supremes, they even did a costume change into some white fringe mini dresses. I wasn't able to break out my usual dance moves because I would start coughing. My lungs were not happy being on the dance floor. It was too much after a couple of songs. In college I closed down dance floors. I must get my lungs back into shape. Sidenote Peonies are my new favorite flower.


Sunday brunch for the out of town guest was so good. It was nice talking with my mom's friends who have kept up since college. It made me appreciate that in college is where I really did make my life-long friends and I hope to stay in contact with as many of them as possible. I felt like a real adult for one of the first times. I was able to carry on conversations with people more than twice my age and I had something to say. Health is always a good conversation. Gluten- free eating is even better. That evening we met up with life-long friends at Goode's BBQ company, one of the oldest and best places. We pulled up and my mom said, "what are you going to do, BBQ sauce has wheat in it." Nah, not in Texas, they don't cheap out on you. Sure enough guess what I found and they even had red bridge gluten free beer! Life is good.

Did I mention I had absolutely no anxiety flying to Houston. It seemed illogical that I was not upset about flying. I did it though, I didn't think about anything going wrong, suspicious people or fearful of getting sick. I put Vaseline up my nose, a flight attendant said that prevented her from getting colds and I wore my masks. 3 days later, no sign of infection!! Whooohooo I beat my challenge. Now I get to go to Lake Havasu with some girl friends to relax and enjoy the sun.