She opened her "gluten free and easy" cookbook (by Robyn Russell) to the page marked with a blue sticky strip. She breathed deeply as she savored the picture of a slice of flourless chocolate cake, mmmm she sighed, the original gluten free dessert without even trying. She reached in the cabinet for a small saucepan, her steamer tray and a pyrex round bowl. She had to make her own double broiler...Kitchen tools were not really found around this household. Her mother had said, "I once had all the fancy tools and never used them. They just cluttered the counter, so I got rid of them." She filled the pan with water and waited for the water to burst with bubbles. Step 1
Melt butter and chocolate in broiler ( pyrex bowl, balancing on metal steamer in pan of boiling water.) She cut
14 tablespoons of butter into squares and broke the
7 oz. chocolate bar (Ghirardelli's 60% cacao baking chocolate...CA made;) over the heat, taking note of how the strong edges began to soften as the heat reached them. Still butter and chocolate, they were revealing a different form, they could be together, they could be one, both strong and tasty on their own, but when broken they were freed to conform to each other to combine into one rich and creamy sauce.
Remove from heat and let cool. Step 2
Separate 6 egg yolks to one bowl and the egg whites to a metal bowl. She cracked the hard exterior designed to protect to reveal a soft, yellow, sphere surrounded by nutrients. She used the cracked shells to help free the yolk from the egg whites, with much care to not disturb the yoke, back and forth, right shell to left shell, acknowledging where it came from and shedding what it doesn't need anymore...The yolk can stand alone. Step 3
Beat yolks and 1 cup of superfine sugar until thick. She whisked those yolks and sugar until a pale, grainy yellow paste formed. She breathed deeper as she used her arm muscles, she paused and smiled down at her arms, that's right, hard work created her strength. Step 4 The girl read,
use an electric mixer to beat egg whites into stiff peaks. Hahaha....she would whisk those egg whites by hand, "here is too all the women who baked before electricity and the ones who refuse to buy kitchen aids"...Foam began to form to her delight as her arm began to grumble with pain, she switched back and forth, deepening her breathe. Less and less egg whites remained, she tapped her foot to the buzz of metal on metal, beautiful stiff peaks, Martha would be so proud, she thought as she shook her arms. Step 5
Combine chocolate mixture and yolk mixture. Ooooo it is looking like frothy souffle batter! Proud of how she had made it this far. Step 6
Gently fold half the egg whites into batter until combined and repeat with remaining egg whites. What tender care she took , not to disrupt the altered properties of ingredients, timing, slowly introducing each element to one another, allowing each characteristic to be fully present. Step 7
Taste test, her eyes closed as she savored the sweet sticky chocolate with hints of her determination and strength, soothing her very insides. Excitement took over the pain of her lungs as she gleefully
poured the mixture into a greased and lined 9- inch round pan. Watching the lush folds occur almost perfectly, hugging the edges, amazed at the harsh process the ingredients endure to form such a smooth brown beauty. Step 8
Place pan in a 350 degree oven for 45- 50 minutes or until firm in the middle. It will dramatically rise and then fall back, don't worry about the cracks! She set the cake pan in the oven, set the timer and leaned against the kitchen counter to lick up every last bit of chocolaty bliss. She cleaned the dishes and peeked at the cake, it had risen, it was changing under the heat again, all the ingredients had prepared for this moment of true form. Step 9
Allow to cool slowly and sprinkle confectioners' sugar or cocoa powder, LOVE and ENJOY a slice of the divine creation. She felt as light as the airy batter she mixed, she turned inward to realize the pain she had felt earlier in the day was faint, her breathe strengthened, she had worked with all that she had to give. She felt healed, she had been refined, her lungs had submitted to her mind, to her artistic play. She needed to get dressed up so she could leave to make it to the party. She too had been broken, softened, folded and was ready to be presented as her true self. Step 10
Do what you need to do and you lungs will follow.
